Up too late. Doom scrolling immigrant statistics while re-watching the under appreciated 2007 anime Baccano!. Sipped chilled tequila till the AM. Bags under my eyes. Too busy thinking about the collapse of the west. Eastern euros have it figured out. I should probably purchase an ak-47 soon.

4hrs of sleep. 6mg nicotine pouch. Coffee. No breakfast. Over did my last bulk. Face looks fat. Wagie time. Call customers. Why don’t you want to buy my product. I’m sensitive. Ugh. Next call. Voice mail. Email. No response. Take meticulously crafted supplement stack stashed in my desk. Boost testosterone. Increase mental cognition. Make me live forever. N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine. Pine pollen. Raw milk. Methylene blue. Vitamin B12. Vitamin E. Vitamin D3. Turkesterone. Zinc. Bovine collagen protein powder.

Home. 3 bedroom house. I am the only occupant. 4 hour life. Mow my yard. Feel surge of productivity. Tonight I’ll work on my passion project. Brain storm in shower. Nothing good. Maybe I’ll get inspired by the timeline. Scroll. WAIT! My Germanic industrial blue dye I’ve been ingesting for mental clarity lowers my sperm count? NOOOOOOOOO! How am I going to save the west with lower quality sperm. Note to self—remove methylene blue from supplement stack.

Think of a bait post for quick engagement. Comment on a mutual’s tweet. With surgical precision craft an instagram collage that 40 people will see. Watch urban street fight video. Sucked into a media blackhole for an hour. Did you know 5% of the population of Haiti is now in the USA? Wild.

Friend calls. Catch him up on romantic lore. “Yeah dude it didn’t work out with the last girl because of the distance, plus quebecers have that annoying french flair so if anything I dodged a bullet idk what I was thinking, but this new girl I’m talking to, let me tell you dude, I am so turbo bullish, she even started to use some of my verbiage she picked up from our previous conversations, chemistry is there for sure, and we even have mutual irl friends, the future looks bright”. She ghosts me the following day for my comments on the pedophile adrenochrome sex ring within the shadow government. Revealed power level too fast. FUCK.

Truly just want to raw dog the same woman forever. Need her to look past all my flaws and love me for me. No superficial bullshit. And she better be extremely hot.

I’m not concerned that all the important females in my life find some of my writing disturbing and offensive. That just means my writing is thought provoking. One said she would be hesitant to recommend a friend to date me based off my last blog post. Damn. Ok. I guess you and your hypothetical single friend don’t understand satire. For your information most of my hikikomori e-girl mutuals like my writing.

Visit high school friend. Offers me a zero sugar gatorade. Bro. Do you think I’d put something like sucralose or corn syrup into my body? My body is a temple. You know I’m lindy. 50 dollar bill converted funnel. Vacuum crushed adderall off a cluttered coffee table. Mind is racing. I need to make a million dollars. I need to make a million dollars in the next 3 months or I’m poor. A million dollars isn’t much money. I’ve never had a million dollars but I know it’s a small amount. Need to lock in.

Love being a niche micro internet celebrity. I have a whopping 4.1k followers on twitter (a quarter of which totally aren’t random crypto bots that gave me a follow because of my neo-chibi nft pfp). I’m a hit! A few girls liked a physique post I made one time. Get the occasional Charlotte Fang retweet (even though he doesn’t follow me). Did I ever tell you the story about my last bender in nyc at a crypto event? Man let me tell you. My life’s a movie.